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You can't fall apart. You have to keep fighting. I know it is complicated but it is now when your son needs you most ... I have told you other times: nothing happens to be wrong. You want to do everything right and that is impossible. Don't worry so much about every mistake you make. It's not that important. The key is to realize when and what you were wrong about, and try to correct it, reflecting on the problem and its possible solutions, and sometimes even asking for forgiveness if necessary before trying again.
All parents want to have a fabulous relationship of affection with your children, but it is necessary to set limits. His friends are his friends, you are his parents. You can be very affectionate and easily accessible parents, but not your colleagues because in that case you will not be able to impose the necessary respect when you have to.
You have to understand that growing is a slow and gradual process and that there are many reasons why children misbehave: immaturity, ignorance, rebellion ... It should not be seen as a serious problem or as a failure, but as what it is: an aspect of the process through which the child goes through Complete its maturity. In any case, whatever the cause of the bad behavior, the parents are responsible for teaching your children discipline, clarifying and establishing the consequences of their behavior. I know that many people do not like the word "discipline." I would like you to understand that it should not be seen as something that adults impose on children but rather as something we do with them as part of their learning.
We learn to teach discipline in the same way that we learn anything else: through study and practice. Hence the importance of informing the appropriate professionals about the techniques and exercises recommended in each particular situation. A sample of suggestions for your case: to have clearly established what time you eat and what is mandatory before and after (wash your hands and wash your mouth), set the time to go to bed and how to leave prepared things of the next day, time and place to do homework, time and contents of television and computer, when and how to order the room ...
And you can also engrave the following in your head: educating by example is a magnificent instrument to teach a child.
Andrés Sampayo Salgueiro